persuasion And, even beyond that, the maxim serves as an ethical code that does not necessarily need to be taught but nevertheless is understood. For example, when someone smiles or gives a compliment, we feel a great need to return the smile or compliment. Even when these gestures are unsolicited, we feel a sense of urgency to repay the person who has created the mental or psychological debt. In some cases, our need to repay this debt is so overwhelming that we end up dramatically exceeding the original favor. The obligation trigger created by the car salesman's soda offer is a classic example of this principle. People often conscientiously trigger feelings of indebtedness and obligation in others by carrying out an uninvited favor. Even if we don't want or ask for the gift, invitation, or compliment, we still feel the need to return the favor when we receive it. Merely being indebted, even in the slightest sense of the word, can create enough psychological discomfort (and sometimes even public embarrassment) that we go to extraordinary lengths to remove the burdensome obligation we feel. This is when we often disproportionately reward the original giver. When my family moved to a new area, we gave a small Christmas gift to all our neighbors. I don't think the gifts cost more than five dollars each We were new on the block and wanted to get to know our neighbors. About thirty minutes after handdelivering the gifts to our new neighbors, the There stood one of the neighbors with a large box of truffles doorbell rang had to have been holding at least fifty dollars worth in one hand this Hmm Нл11. in one na "Welcome to the neighborhood, and Happy Holi 0f choc° ates. off and on her way. She couldn't cope with the d3dd 3 debt'she felt toward my family so, to rid herself of her feelings of S hi tion, she gave back ten times more than she'd originally received. This ob ' i holiday presents to have on hand just in case is why many people buy extra someone delivers a gift they did not count on. The Law of Obligation also applies when there are favors we wish we could ask, but we know we are not in a position to repay them or perhaps even ask for them in the first place.2 The psychological and emotional burden created by such circumstances is often great enough that we would rather lose the benefits of the favor by not asking for it at all than experience the embarrassment and likely rejection that might come from asking. For example, a woman who receives expensive gifts from a man may complain that, although she is flattered by and likes getting the gifts, she feels an uncomfortable sense of obligation to repay her suitor. Furthermore, she may express frustration at the perception held by the suitor that, because of his gifts, the woman would or should be more sexually accessible. Studies have shown that the converse is also true: When individuals break the reciprocity rule by showering favors on someone without giving them a chance to repay, there is an equal amount of discomfort. persuasion