persuasion 25 In one research study, librarians did one of two things when handing back library cards to university students checking out books: either they did not touch the person at all during the exchange or they made light, physical contact by placing a hand over the student's palm. Invariably, those students who were touched during the transaction rated the library service more favorably than those who were not touched at all.26 Waiters who touched customers on the arm when asking if everything was okay received larger tips and were evaluated more favorably than those waiters who didn't touch their customers. Attractive waitresses who touched their customers received the highest tips of all. Touch also induces customers to spend more time shopping in a particular store. In one study, physical contact on the part of salespeople induced customers to buy more and to evaluate the store more favorably.27 In another example, touch was found to increase the number of people who volunteered to score papers, sign petitions, and return money that had been left in a telephone booth. Syracuse professor Jacob Hornik discovered that touching bookstore customers on the arm caused them to shop longer (to be exact, 22.11 minutes versus 13.56 minutes), to purchase more ($15.03 versus $12.23), and to evaluate the store more positively than customers who had not been touched. Hornik also found that supermarket customers who had been touched were more likely to taste and purchase food samples than nontouched customers.28 We know that certain areas of the body can be freely touched while other areas are off limits. Women don't mind being touched by other women and they are fairly tolerant of being touched (appropriately) by men. Men usually don't mind being touched by an unfamiliar female-but things get harder to predict in cases where men are touching other men. In general, men don't like being touched by unfamiliar men. Safe areas of contact include the shoulders, forearms and hands, and sometimes the upper back. This all depends on the situation and relationship between the two parties prior to the touch. Mirroring and Matching John Grinder and Richard Bandler, founders of neurolinguistic programming (NLP), developed the concept of "mirror and matching." The idea is to align your movements and body image with your prospect's demeanor. The goal is to mirror or reflect their actions, not to imitate them. If people think you are imitating them, they may feel like you're mocking them and jhey may become offended. They will see you as phony and no longer trust you. Instead of directly imitating, just mirror or match the overall tone and demeanor of your prospect. You can safely mirror their language, posture, gestures, and mood. When you mirror your prospects, you build rapport with them. Because of your similar demeanors, your prospects will feel a connection with you. Remember, people are inclined to follow and obey those they perceive as similar to themselves. persuasion