persuasion If they shift in their posture, you should eventually do so, too. If they cross their legs, you should cross your legs as well. If they smile, you smile too. When you do this, your prospects will subconsciously feel that you have much more in common with them than is actually the case. We often unconsciously mirror others, without even realizing it. It is just a natural thing that we do. Have you ever noticed at social gatherings how people tend to match each other in their body language and their attitudes? For example, when two people greet each other, they typically tend to use the same posture and behave with the same demeanor. When you are a Master Persuader, you will make skillful and conscientious use of mirroring. Mirroring Language You will be amazed at the effectiveness of using vocabulary or "lingo" similar to that of your prospect. Pick up on and use some of the words or phrases that your prospect uses. You may also find it helpful to mirror his rate of speech. If he speaks in a slower and more relaxed tone, you can do the same. Nevertheless, be sure to keep the enthusiasm high. If he speaks quickly, feel free to do the same. Matching Breathing See if you can adopt the same breathing pattern as your prospect. In doing so, it is helpful to observe the rise and fall of your prospect's chest or shoulders for cues. Of course, use your peripheral vision to do this so you are always maintaining eye contact. Synchronized breathing between you and your prospect is such a subtle thing, yet it creates connectivity. Matching Voice This is different from matching language. It refers to the actual tone or inflection of your prospect's voice. Be very careful, however, that you do not come across as mimicking. The "mirrored" voice you use should never be so different or foreign from your own that you arouse suspicion, fust minor and subtle adjustments in tone are all that are necessary to get the desired results. Mirroring Moods When you reflect your prospect's mood, you give validation to what he is saying and feeling. We often verbally mirror another's mood by restating what he or she just said: "So, what I hear you saying is . . ." or "I think I would feel that way too, if I also experienced. ..." Be sure when you mirror your prospect's mood that your tone is very sincere. When you sincerely acknowledge your prospect's comments, concerns, and feelings, your persuasive power increases. Matching Energy Level Some people always seem to be relaxed and mellow. Others seem to be constantly active or vivacious. Seek to mirror your prospect's energy level. This will be another subtle way you are in sync with your prospect. This technique is also effective when giving a group presentation: Match the overall energy level present in the room, or adopt the level of energy emanating from the group. Breaking the Mirror Certainly, there are occasions when you may not want to mirror someone else. For example, a lawyer will often seek to create anxiety or uneasiness in a witness. persuasion